Time flies...

Finally, our last day came. I am sad yet he made my day special with his bouquet follow by a meaningful written card. I was all the way lost in thought and scare of seeing him away, suddenly, his touch awaken me to be in reality that I can still see him with the look of his, sending back to me. Later having a talk to which I did enjoy, however, with sadness in mind. It's hard to show out though.

His last smile still appears in the eye of mine...

20051231
3am

He's back!

Finally my brother's back again. I didn't go to get him thought as the time he came, I was busy doing the exam :( SO BAD!!! Not too bad though since I got to meet U after exam. It was short but fun. I like it :)

20051229THU

2am

I wonder why

It's hard to tell how I feel exactly. It happened with my sense and I know what I was doing. Still I feel sth, stht that cant make me fully happy with what I did. Why? The question keeps on asking me that I could not find even just one stupid answer.

20051228WED

02:30am

Still ME...

On 24th, I went to my school party, RULE, with my bf. There I met many friends of mine. Not only those studying at RULE but also at IFL. Also those who are not studying with me and some of my relatives. I felt really great to have him walking by my side. Moreover, sitting, talking, and dancing till I forgot about the time to come home. I did enjoy it alot. You know, I had never thought I would dare to reveal the truth but his love had given me strenght to be brave and finally, I did it. However, it's not enough to built my confident in making decision once I got another contrasting idea. But because of this contrasting idea, I know how great is his love to me untill I feel I'm not good enough to get such a nice guy like him. He always cheer me up whenever I'm down, but I never turn him up, worse, I always make him confused with my nonsense thought. More, I never speak out the real reason. I still cant change myself, 'd rather be understood than to tell.

20051227TUE

1am

New DC again!

Have I told you that I lost my DC last time?

Well, forget it! I got a new one now.

It's new to me but it's not a latest model that I want, however, since it's only 4.1mega pixel. But nah... got heuy mech teat? :P

Well, this is what my dad got for me as he's just back from KL. Lovely daddy ;)

20051215THU
00:30

A rose of love~*

*~A rose of love...

As I was about to finished my sms, a lovely sms recieved. I feel loved once opening my eyes and see his lovely words sending to me. Time to get ready for my morning date. I felt good to leave home for a meeting that I've been waiting for a whole night. There, I sat alone waiting for my love to be with... Never had I enjoy waiting like this time since it's for my spcial person who is him. There he comes... with a lovely rose, handed to me with his sweet smile... I feel loved and surprised... It's so touchy, honey!

...that fills my heart~*

4th day

Decision had made. I'm in the present so nothing to care about the past so does the future lolz... I am so happy recently that most of my friends said "you look so happy, Phors!!!", they also asked "Sth good had happened to u or wat?" and some other say "you are so sweet recently" hehehehe... I agree with that. Sth that is really good had happened to me. That is his present nos ey ;) Kekekeke... Having him around, the world seems to be real nice and beautiful. I love that and wish it will always be so. However, it's not gonna last long. It doesnt mean he'll be gone but it's just he will be no longer here beside me in the very near future. Well, well, well,... I still got 16days. So need to think of how to use it wisely vinh pror ser cheang hehehe... Hum... you know what? One policy in mind is not to miss a kiss even one day :P That means I'll be meeting him everyday lolz...

Anyway, today things seems to be so nice. I did have a great time in the morning with my friends. Enjoy talking in class, actually hahahaha... we asked our male friends to give us present on X'mas but in order to get that we need to do the assignment for them lolz... Lazy mate, they are! Greedy girls, we are as well hahaha... BTW, in the afternoon the class was set to be 3hours straigh with AL, a subject to which considered to be a sleepy one. And I had thought I would felt asleep during the class but it turned out to be sth different from what I had expected. I enjoy it alot and so does everyone else since he had made alot of fun during the lesson. Finally, the eveing came. Sorry honey to keep you waiting since I wanna go with yan hehehe... I know you would never mind that, right? That's why you are always good in my thought hehehe... Tell you one thing chos, I was quiet because I was thinking what should I do with you when the time to leave comes hehehe... and what i did to you before leaving is what I had thought :P

Ok, should sleep now cos Tmr got special appointment phorng hehehehe...

20051214WED
0021

It was just a past

Q.er: What do you think about the past?
Me: It has nothing to do with the present but still I feel sth wrong with it.
Q.er: Is it important to think of it over and over again?
Me: Not at all.
Q.er: So why still you think about it?
Me: I don't know, it's the feeling itself, not me lolz...

Q.er: Hmm... we cant take back what had already happened so why not just being happy with what we did?
Me: I don't know, it's a kinda mixed feeling.
Q.er: Mixed feeling again?
Me: Er... yeah, I always have this kind of feeling.
Q.er: When are you going to get over it?
Me: er...ai...i....i don't know, can you please stop asking me?
Q.er: !!!

He's coming!!!!

It's 12o'clock now... I'm so excited that in just another 4hours I'll be meeting him hehehehe... Really really really happy man na :D

gotta go for lunch now ;)

12pm

Wouldn't it be lovely?

Having back the internet connection hadn't cheered me up as much as the present of the person in my soul. It's not only the feeling that had been touched but the whole heart is held and warmth by the sweet words which had flown out smoothly with the emotional feeling that leaded by my love. The image of romantic moment had been formed within the thought of mine and his: lifted up by him and got hold by me, gently kissed by us. Wouldn't that be lovely?

I had just said that time does fly but now it comes out in a different way. In other hours I'll be seeing him right in front of me but I feel I have to wait like years. Time is crawling now :((

Miss and Love from all my heart...

20051209FRI
03am

Will it be???

It's been along long time that I've left this blog to be out of date. It just happen to me that the internet was down for more than a month. I was so bored and stressed but it might have beeen good as well, as i usually completed my work, and i did review the lesson before test or exam. The result turned out to be good, just like wat i suppose to get. I'm happy but I'm stress again when it's time for another work to be done. Why there always are things for me to do all the time? (sight)

Anyway, I just got the internet connection back that then I started to use it endlessly lolz... Well, I suddenly got one comment for my old old old journal which makes me think that time does fly. It seems like yesterday that it just happened but now it's time for another thing to happen. Yet they both are different. I'd rather to have only one of them which is the Meeting without Leaving. Somehow, it's not gonna be like what I wish for. Just as what I always said to myself, wish is always a wish. However, I'll spend it as wisely as i could do for him and esp.for my heart in this coming event. Will I ever be able to do with my packed schedule? Will I ever be able to do as what I planned to? Will it be the real memorable days of ours? Or bla bla bla....???

Let's just wait and see, another word that I always use.